There is alot of hussle and bustle right now. Getting ready for Thanksgiving, shopping for Christmas, parties, fun, get togethers. Lots of stuff to do. So why do I not feel like doing any of it? In my last post I talked about how I am out of that slump... and i really believe that slowly but surely I am coming out of it... but its suuuuuch a slow process! Seriously... WHAT GIVES?! Why can't I snap my fingers and be fixed??
Well we got a huuuge blow to our current situation... one that has put us back significantly and we're not sure where to go from here. I personally love November-December 30th. Not at all because of the weather, because I hate the cold, but because of the spirit of the season. Its usually so joyous, filled with love, giving, and celebration. And now, because of this punch in the proverbial face of our life, the holidays have lost their joy. Trust me I know that Christmas is not about gifts but I can't get past the idea that the more I give materialistically the better I will feel.
::Sigh:: I also want to complain about something that is really pissing me off. EMPLOYERS: Do NOT put up a job posting unless YOU ARE ACTUALLY HIRING FOR THE POSITION. I dont know how many applications I have put in only to get an email or something an hour to a day later saying Oh I'm sorry the position has been filled. Its really frustrating! And its not helping with my feeling of hopelessness! **Ok... I"m off my soap box**
I"m really trying to work on being thankful for all the things I am given and entrusted with. I have 3 beautiful and smart children. I have a husband who loves me (most of the time lol) and I have a roof over my head. Life is NOT that bad... I just need to meditate on that.
What are YOU thankful for?!
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Monday, November 8, 2010
Life has many twists and turns...
I haven't updated in a month. I feel like I have been in a bit of a rut. And emotional rut, a spiritual rut, a relational rut, and a nutritional rut. I've gained about 10 lbs, I've been unmotivated, and seemingly really really hungry! It really all comes down to my situation. I wont go completely into my situation right now but just let it be known that we are broke.
While in this rut I stopped caring about a lot of things. I'm really embarassed by the pile of dirty clothes that have yet to get washed, the dust bunnies that are crawling out from under my bed, my husbands facial hair (no matter how many times I ask him to clean it up) that is littering the bathroom sink, and the paperwork that has piled up. Its embarassing! Do I want it to be that way? No! Do I need to get off my A** and do it?! YES! So now I begin the upward struggle of plugging away at it, one task at a time, because I know that if I try to too much at one time I will get overwhelmed and dig my rut again.
There are a couple of things I've learned while in this rut of mine. Number 1. I AM NOT IN CONTROL! Nor should I be. I have a very very mighty savior that wants me to let him be in control of my life. Number 2. IT'S GOING TO BE OK! I dont need to worry about whether or not we will be OK. We will never starve, we will have a roof over our heads, its fine! Number 3. I DONT NEED IT ALL! I can't believe how much I thought I needed when I had money. I needed everything, the new clothes, the nails, makeup, whatever. I neeeeeeded it. No I dont! There are 3 things that are needed: food, shelter and clothing. It doesn't need to be the newest or the best or whatever.
In closing, I've learned this last month or so that minimalism is extremely liberating. I have become extremely resourceful. I have learned new hobbies and talents that I had no idea that I had. Was this month very emotionally trying for me? Abso-fricken-lutely. But I wouldn't trade it for a thing because it has taught me so much and I am coming out of this rut ahead! And althought I cannot say that I will never get into another rut again, I can promise that I will never let another rut pass without being educated by it.
While in this rut I stopped caring about a lot of things. I'm really embarassed by the pile of dirty clothes that have yet to get washed, the dust bunnies that are crawling out from under my bed, my husbands facial hair (no matter how many times I ask him to clean it up) that is littering the bathroom sink, and the paperwork that has piled up. Its embarassing! Do I want it to be that way? No! Do I need to get off my A** and do it?! YES! So now I begin the upward struggle of plugging away at it, one task at a time, because I know that if I try to too much at one time I will get overwhelmed and dig my rut again.
There are a couple of things I've learned while in this rut of mine. Number 1. I AM NOT IN CONTROL! Nor should I be. I have a very very mighty savior that wants me to let him be in control of my life. Number 2. IT'S GOING TO BE OK! I dont need to worry about whether or not we will be OK. We will never starve, we will have a roof over our heads, its fine! Number 3. I DONT NEED IT ALL! I can't believe how much I thought I needed when I had money. I needed everything, the new clothes, the nails, makeup, whatever. I neeeeeeded it. No I dont! There are 3 things that are needed: food, shelter and clothing. It doesn't need to be the newest or the best or whatever.
In closing, I've learned this last month or so that minimalism is extremely liberating. I have become extremely resourceful. I have learned new hobbies and talents that I had no idea that I had. Was this month very emotionally trying for me? Abso-fricken-lutely. But I wouldn't trade it for a thing because it has taught me so much and I am coming out of this rut ahead! And althought I cannot say that I will never get into another rut again, I can promise that I will never let another rut pass without being educated by it.
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